Nadia Comăneci

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Saint Nadia

Saint Nadia is the patron saint of Gymnastics. Sometimes referred to as Nadia "cu mâneci". She's a mature lady now and she's getting older and older every year. Her exact birth date is unknown but she is reputed to have been born on the 10th of October, 1010. Onesti, was her hometown. She is the only living person ever to be beautified. Nadia was fully canonized in 1976, the year that Her immense Holiness was first witnessed by the entire world.

In the night of November 1989, she had a vision that the fall of Communism would come soon. She fled Romania, looking for a safe Communist country; one that will have a reduced number of parties, with a secret police secretly taping or kidnapping people, where chemicals will still make a base for her daily hamburger. Luckily, she got an American citizenship. While visiting Montreal, Canada you can go and pray to her Holiness' picture and admire her signature on the sacred ground of the stadium (which now costs 10$ a visit).

She is currently married with a man (who is guarded by ten gorillas at all times) who has needles instead of eyes, as he can not see that much of her holy saint-like figure every day. Every day pilgrims gather around her million dollar mansion hoping to catch a glimpse of Virgin Mary's competitor. Of course everything has a price - if you visit her home, don't forget to spend at least 100$ dollars in her gift shop. Your entire family will be safe from of all harms(including your neighbour's grudge) until your next visit(please bring gold, not money).